Sunday, July 3, 2011

It's not that i've been lazy. i just feel weird.

Now with all the moving and that stuff. i do feel weird. i cannot put a name on it, nor point it out like "This is it!" or "Here look." i cannot describe, but there is some sadness in the house. most of my stuff is in boxes in the house, and this part of my life just feel blurry. i cannot grasp it neither can i name it. A mix of emotion just in my heart and guts. i feel that there is not much i can do but i feel restless. i can just get in to my bedroom and let things just happen, but what else can i do? just wait till each day came and i do my move. Just a few more days. i cannot make the whole idea of moving. There is a part of me that is scared of course, but that same thing that scare me moves me forward. There is so much to do but i do not want to do it. i feel that most part of the world is just moving too fast for me and i do move fast, walk fast, eat fast, run fast, drive fast, except for shower which i do recognize i am slow at that. There is no much people to tell, in fact today there was nobody to tell about this feeling and it will be posted here to everybody who wants to read it will read it, but no body will.
i hate feeling likes this. It is annoying for me. i just can not deal with it i want to withdraw from everything but i know tomorrow will be a new different day. i hope that this week goes normally and plainly.

1 comment:

  1. I know how you feel. Moving is a very emotional thing, especially when you are moving out of a place that has been a real security for you for a long time. I did that 2 years ago. It was a very difficult time for me. Hang in there. It will get better.