Sunday, October 2, 2011

[No Title.]

i do not know what to ask life. i ask for friends who care, for friends that when they see you not doing well will do something. i will do something if my friends are not doing good. i will walk miles, swim the ocean, stop doing what i might be doing and run to help them. Run to see them. Is this wrong?
Where can i draw the line for friendships, where can i say this is me and these are my friends?
Life does not play fair i know. They all have friends and i know i chose to fade away, i chose to see if one of them will care, but life keep them very busy...
i should do something more than just stay here... i need a hobby more than just play video games.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

French-IP

Okay, so here i am feeling lonely again, this look like a normal topic. It is a habit. Well, thing is i just realized why i am feeling like this. i asked it myself. i asked God if He will do anything even if it hurts me to come closer to Him. Well this hurt too much... which means it will bring me closer to Him.
True i wished my friends will come and ask or realized sooner how i felt, but it was because i asked for it. So i can get closer to my loved one, closer to my God, and Savior.
i wrote it down, and know i am going thru that proses. i am happy that God was faithful to lead me in that direction. A friend told me there was nothing that one can do for this. Well, i know there is someone who actually can do something for this situation.
He showed up, helped me and make me realized that it was because i  asked for it.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

What happened to those Old Romance?

Centuri XXI and a lot things have happened that have changed the world: for good and for bad.
Techonology has increased changing everything but my point here what has happened to the old romance. Yeah! to the old school romance. Where everything was about alking or walking down the street. Where, one has to run over fences just to get to see the person who wanted to see. About dating and being brave enough to ask for a moment of solitude between two people.
What is is weird just to ask for a date and not have sex, can people just ask and not playing games. Is there any truth in having a relationship?
The thing is i also have to be brave and go and ask. i sincerely fear the future. i do not wish to hurt other people. i do not wish to make someone mad. This is one of my biggest fear that i will hurt someone and i will not get forgiven for that. i see myself as a time bomb and i do not want to hurt people.
Again back to the topic. Why now that we have all such media-skill to do things faster and easier it is hard to find a relationship and even harder to create one and sustain it.
i was watching a move and made me think of this when one of the characters said:
"What happened to the old fashion romance like the dogs and the spagetti?"
if you do not know what is being reffered here, i will show you a video clip:



Also isn't there a lot of romane in another movies that mark my childhood and now i am looking for something like this. This is my last example and i have to leave because i will start crying if i keep writting this much.


See one night i had a dream of this, movie i was Aladin and i was with my princess. Well i am still single and one day i will be on a date eating spagettis, giving flowers and paying for the bill. i might not sing...
.lol.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

GRE

here i am going to take the GRE at one pm today. i am anxious but i am also quiet as with peace... i know God is holding me and i did my part and i know He is always faithful. i might not see Him doing all but i know He actually does it all.
it is short for a post but what else can i say?
He is all for me.

Monday, September 5, 2011

I Am Not Who I Was ~ Brandon Heath ()

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was

I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so

I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was

When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you

I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was

I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello

Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was

 I am using this song to say what is in my heart to those i hurt i ask for forgiveness, to those who hurt me directely or indirectely i forgive them. i am not the little guy who hold grudges and seek revenge any more. i am not the little boy who run scared from the problems, i am not the one who will shut his mouht when something happends and gets angry, i will not use my mouth to yell any more, or use my fits to strike and knock other people.
To those people who i meet, loved and grew with, i use this song to let them know that i not just loved them but i still love them as in present now. Wherever they are. Whatever they are doing. They have a space in my heart, and once i got your name in my heart three things only can erase it: Dead, Alzheimer, and Amensia. Which i hope only the first one will do the trick.
i have learned, but not completely,  Agape: the self-sacrifing love, as the love of God/Jesus/Holy Spirit for the church; Philia/o: the brotherly and sisterly love for one another; Storge: the love that comes as familiarity, that part when you miss a friends, becuase he is like family or his presence is so strong that when he is not there you miss him; that is how you know that love; Eros: the love for intimacy and romantic love. i wrote i have learned but still not completely i am human and my desire to grow is hard but by the love of God i can keep doing it, with His Agape love i can stand in my feet each day, with my Philo love i walk to wards my friends and brothers, sisters, by Storge i take care of them and wanted to be happy... ahhh about Eros... well i am still single... ahahahahahaha
well here is the song link:

Lead Me to The Cross ~ Hillsong United (Lead Me to The Cross)

 Savior I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemptions hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and trialed
You are
Te word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen

To your heart
To your heart
Lead me to your heart
Lead me to your heart

This song was introduced to me by my adoptive son. He is not technically adoptive but we have a relationship as father-son. i got to be the dad because i was the older. i found it by many singers, but this is the one he likes. i listen to it everytime i want to go back to Him and i am repender of my sins.
This beautiful song make my heart move to Him; He is my real father and i desire to be with Him more and more. i hope you guys like it.

I Can Only Imagine ~ MercyME (I Can Only Imagine)

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side
 
I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine
 
I can only imagine
 
[Chorus:]
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I
fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
 
I can only imagine
 
I can only imagine
When that day comes
When I find myself
Standing in the Son
 
I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine
 
I can only imagine
 
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I
fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
 
I can only imagine
 
I can only imagine
i can only imagine
 
I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship you
 
I can only imagine
 
 At the end of the time, when there is no more of what we know., the earth is not as we know it, the time has reached it final moment, and before eternity infront of the Real One. What would you do?
What would you do in the presence of the most High One? At the presence of the One-you-love? At the presence of God? How would i react, what will i do...
i would probably tremble and cry... because i am not worthy of see Him... i am not worthy of His love, and grace. i am not worthy of  recieve it, but He does not give it because we are wothy; He does it becuase we need Him, we need of His love and question is what would i do now?
What will i do at His very presence? i would be consumed and will cry dance and be on my knees...
i do not know how i would react, He only knows.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Cry

Why do i still feel sad? i want to cry, but there is no right place to cry. There is no comfort in cying if there is nobody to dry out your tears.There is only pain and saddness. There is only a quiet moment that happiness does not bring.
A silence that as bad as it can get there is nothing i can do about it. i want to shout out i want to yell, but my throat it shut up.
i want to run far, so i close my eye. i realize i run close to you. People remember me of you...
There is no way to run.
i want you back, but i cannot ask to have back what i did not have.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Work and Love

Today at work i saw many persons. i worked for long time and time to time i realized that some people remind me of the-person-i-like-too-much-this-part-of-my-life. i hate it! i was at the bus and i saw a similar charasteristic and i almost cry because i miss that sinificant one.i think i should have not steped down in love, but i always think that i will no do good. i think people will get bored of me very quickly and i have no option for that i do not want to risk it at all.
i want to be safe in my heart. After i hurt so many persons, i came to the conclusion i do not like getting hurt either.
It hurts when you are alone in no body sees that; it hurts when you laugh on the outside but tears are like cold dagger in your throat; it hurts to see others seeing thier spring in life and you think autum is leaving your heart.
i miss hugging, i miss loving and being love in a romantic way.
Sad story, i did not have to step down i could have fight. i just did not want to... i was afraid like always i am.
The cry in my heart will be known only to One.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Desclosure Time my Love Life Story.

Okay so here it is! The juci story of my love life. Long story short. i hurt people. yes i did hurt people and i hurt all my six significant ones. i feel ashamed for doing that and i hope that one day if i get to know a significan one i might get all the  pain that i cause back to me. i do not want to hurt someone at all. i do not want to make someone cry due to my stupidity.But now it is me the one who does not know what to do. Feeling in love again is weird. i like this person but i do not know what to do. The Ex has come back and our "situation" is on hold for long as my significant one takes a desition. To add to this each one of us has a very busy life and do not quite have a lot of time to spend thinking about this.
Some part of me want to dissapear from the picture but not sure if i should. Long time i have not fight for someone, and the last time i fought the person just left my life in a very quiet way. i have to clap to that person. i can wait but my life will keep going going goin...
This significant one is worth the wait. i will wait but my life will not stop...  it will not stop for my significant one.
Love life is so complicated, sometimes i think i went back to high school...
Fudge my life... or throw some pudding...
a chocolate cookie would not be bad now...

Supernaturalist by Eoin Colfer

Future World a city governed by a satelite and many new creatures due to their addaptation to this new environment. Cosmo, the main character, has to survive. No body knows where he comes from and who their parents are, similar to Jack Blank from The Accidental Hero, but without any supper human abilities. Cosmo ecape form the Orphanage that held him prisioner for so many years. The escape came with very high difficulties and his life is in danger. Here is where the Supernaturalist come to the resque. The situation is Cosmo is deadly injured and if it was not for the help of a Bartoli Baby he would have died. Before he is knocked down he sees a blue creature that comes to his aid? or it is a foe? Double twisting story and lies that strenght or can brake friendships live in this book that will just blow our mind.
You like futuristics but no supper power i recomend this book.
There is one way to know if one might like it, give it a chance.

Skin by Adrienne Maria Vrettos

Skin tells the sotry of a boy who lives in a very disfunctional familly. From the begining, the narator tells the sotry and you can tell that somethings is going wrong in this family. Divorce, survival, anorexics, lies, broken friendships. All is narrated from the poin of view of the main character which i forgot the name.
The development of the main characters is created and fights the normal and real problems of the family in this society. Divorce, lack of communication and parental roles, and interaction with the kids. No forget the high school and acceptance.
Where can you run if you do not feel accepted by your family and in high school everyone is ignoring you?
Related from the youngest male's, in the family, perspective. Skin tells you what really people think under their skins.

The Accidental Hero by Matt Myklusch.

With a combination of superheroes and mages, electrical machines and a very twisting story Matt introduces the Imagine Nation. The country where all that is supernatural is created. The main character Jack Blank is founded orphaned and taked care of untill the day a robot shows up to kill him and is rescued by someone from the Imagine Nation. The plots its form as soon as Jack hit the ground in this country. Many super Heroes and, again, a twisting story that will keep you involved and looking for the next volume... coming out soon.
Totally recomended.
Character development is greatful, from Jack Black to the antagonist, and the secondary characters every one is presented except their secrets so it pushed you to desire to know more and more.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins


These books  are awesoem soon to be made movie. i read these books because it was my Christmas gife to myself. i read them this summer and i like it a lot.
Main character Katniss lives in a future U.S. that is called Panem controlled by the main city The Capitol which controls the other 12 districs. The Capitol controls everything of these 12 districs. It creates a game to show it power. The game fire back when the main character plays at the end starting without wanting a revolution. Who shall she please Capitol or Rebels? What happened at the end of the revolution???
These were the questions that i keep asking myslef with these books. Collins does exelent job about the story givin twist after twist. One might think the story goes slow but you will not realize when it all happened and boom! War is at hand.
Good character develpment, and creativity abund in many ways.
Sad and Happy Stories... well one way to know if one would like it...
READ IT.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Angry grrr

So i am angry at myself for the stupidity that dwells in me... how come did i let myself get to this point?
How come i let myself get so upset with all these behavior? Waaaa very angry at myself. i get a little upset with people, but i do always get angry at myself. There is no reason to use the Baker act; okay.
i am going to wash the dishes see if something fades away...
funny never thought Starbucks could last so long.
i finished with the dishes. It looks like it gave me more time to think... not good sometimes...
aahh i might overheat the hard drive... lol.!!!
okay folcks take care and soon, you will hear from me...

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Sorry

i have not been lost just out of internet, doing some GRE practice and some other videogames and TV's shows like Case Closed. That is so far. i have been doing good in my GRE practice, but i think that my English records need some improvement.
Living here with room mates we have fun stuff to do and sometimes it is not funny. Things sometimes i feel like an outsider.
Yes, it is bad that or not??
This are my friends and love them. i recognized i do get upset ad do not talk much about it.
i wish we could be closer, but like my wise old man said, bulbas are stronger than friendships.
That makes me sad, we were supposed to have taco nights, but planes changed. all because of an XX.
well that is all for today see ya in a few more days.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

brik and memories, nine ten-plus-one

nothing much to say but this=




i like the last one, more than the others.

Not to be Proud... but i am happy with this

My bookshelf and i liked it a lot, just got it put my books and realized it was full already lol!!!! i love to read... well that is for this post... i will miss Borders.....

This was my fourth of July...pre celebration

Yes it was like fourth of July a few weeeeeeks ago. but if you guys rembember i was not able to post due to lack of internet and because i was soo stressed with the housing thing.[btw my frien just told me what book to read happy.] and also my computer broke-ish. Virus. i whish for a mac but there is no president who can accompaing me to do it and the few benjamins are going to rent and electricity.So here is the picture of a few of the fireworks my friends ignited.






Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson

Novel, not real life! Just need to know that before you read this National Book Award Finalist. Not vampires, and not werewolves, not firies that can create your dream night. Just High school. Well, it has a "greek god" that is kind of Apollo looking, with a mentality of Eros and Thanatos, yes if you know greek "culture" you know what i mean. Something happens, a phone call [911] is made, party is over, high school start, no popularity, bad grades, nightmare comes in, firends flee, friend come back, friend is kicked out, low grades, a rack changes everything, biology, art, and mirror.
i have to say by the 3/4 of the book i had hated the main character, but love his friend, after that it wen backwards. i love Melinda. by the end and i was glad she finally "speak." No she was not mute.
i recomend it if someone wants to get out of magic books, medieval stage, vampires, and hot looking guys and girl the can tore the whole sky with just looks. humanized book that will back slap as i wanted to backslap Me-no-Linda.

Guardians of Ga'Hoole Collection [Books: 1-3] by Kathryn Lasky [Borders Exclusive]

It's is a movie now, these three books out of the fifteen that compose the seires. The movie follows the mains stem of the books but still the movie goes too fast realted to the books.
Soren is the owl that got snatched by St. Aeggis school of orphans. Note he got snatched from his parents nest. So was he really an orphan? He actually knows the answer. Well by the second book or the third one is known to him that he is an orphan.
Soren escape from St. Aeggis with a friend Gilfie, another owl. There are more animals in the book, besides owls, there are rats and vole which is actually food, mice also food. Seagull those appear a few time. Well Soren and Gilfie believe in the Legends of the Guardians. They try to find it. Make friendship with Twilight and Digger. Two more Owls!!
Made it to the three and study. Teacher missing and a new threat is find besided St Aeggis plot. Nicely done i will have to read the other eleven eventually, but other books to read besides Owls.

Good book: plot was developed slow but it catches you very fast. The development of the character is good and at the begining of the chapters there is sort of introductions per important character. Two sentence introduction at most so people can remember or get familiar with the characters. If you want to step out of magis stories that have to deal with humans or antropomorph creatures. I recomend this book.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Camp and internet

So i went to cam last week, and i enjoy it a lot. i have to say some other moment i felt down; i was like i should not be here. My team was the green team "The Green Lantern." We liked the name and out of six we made the fifth position. i have to say i learned a lot from humility and also from leadership. i am too nice sometimes and i have to make myself respect a little more, but it is too hard just to put a strong voice and do not sound mean. i will learn to have a balance. By the way i learn also that i can rock my green suspenders. Nice!
i was very sad that i was not able to give some points to my team till i got second place on pool belly flop. The other competition of mud pit belly flop went all wring but funny. i did a skip of water with my body got the six place but at least i did something impressive, thanks Lord.
The service of during the night were amazing now, that i have internet i will try to make some notes in here of them and put the pictures of my department hopefully next week.
This is the report i have to say so far. Thanks for reading and keeping contact.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

It's not that i've been lazy. i just feel weird.

Now with all the moving and that stuff. i do feel weird. i cannot put a name on it, nor point it out like "This is it!" or "Here look." i cannot describe, but there is some sadness in the house. most of my stuff is in boxes in the house, and this part of my life just feel blurry. i cannot grasp it neither can i name it. A mix of emotion just in my heart and guts. i feel that there is not much i can do but i feel restless. i can just get in to my bedroom and let things just happen, but what else can i do? just wait till each day came and i do my move. Just a few more days. i cannot make the whole idea of moving. There is a part of me that is scared of course, but that same thing that scare me moves me forward. There is so much to do but i do not want to do it. i feel that most part of the world is just moving too fast for me and i do move fast, walk fast, eat fast, run fast, drive fast, except for shower which i do recognize i am slow at that. There is no much people to tell, in fact today there was nobody to tell about this feeling and it will be posted here to everybody who wants to read it will read it, but no body will.
i hate feeling likes this. It is annoying for me. i just can not deal with it i want to withdraw from everything but i know tomorrow will be a new different day. i hope that this week goes normally and plainly.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Moving

i will be moving during this coming week so i doubt there would be a few updates, but pictures of the house will be held here soon!

Friday, July 1, 2011

Found it!

Finally i found the house i am moving in with my firends...  it does sound exciting but the down payment, pretty much eat all my paycheck for this month.
i will see how we do the moving; yes! i am so excited.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

House and Depto.

This has been crazy awful for me. My friend and i have been looking for places to live; we have found a few that we like but there are other variables we have to analyze. Think of this, i am a psychologist and statistician, and everytime i come up with more variables to analyzi. i am greatful that mi friend is able to provide with plan B, but i also want the other variables to say yes or not. needing to have something by Friday i hope it will be better soon.
or plan B will have to be taken.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Cook and skill

i was going to cook the other day, pasta with some chicken and a four or three chees salsa. i could not do what i wanted. i hate it! i was not able to do it because my father wanted do direct and saying stuff. At the end, i did not cook what i wanted to cook but i became the helper. i started to wash the dishes and adjusting the heath for the pasta; that was it. i appreciate the help of my father, do not get me wrong on that. i just complaining, yes it is a complaing to nobody. i did not do what i wanted to do, so how am i suspposed to know what i can cook and i like to cook?
Well, just a few more weeks and i will be okay i guess...
Then again thanks for sharing these thoughts...
i will cook again but not tonight.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Twist!

i have not written because i have been busy, reading books, hanging out with friends in distress and just to have fun. i have not forgotten this place where i can put my head, but i can say that i am not the same as the one who started writing here.
There was a small twist in the direction of my life, i like it though, i was going to study for the GRE and i have not started yet. lol i need to check on that, second my house situation is getting some how tight but still better. There will be a place one and i will be happy. i have not been moody at all and that is for saying something!!!
i have realize that i have to love my friends and family just they way the are and not the idealized picture of them i created when i met them. See a lot of things have happened but i cannot find the words to describe them.
i was thinking about my future children, and still i have no candidate for mother hahahahaah.
Well that will come eventually there is something important and is called present, i have something else to focus now, and is the Will of God on my life. So many question but as i tweet the other day.
"i have realized that is not God whom i have to question, but me." H.S.
Yeah, sometimes we wonders so much about question God for what happens in out life that we forget that it might be the consequences of sin; our own bad choices or something else, and attack from the enemy. Locking us as Targets!
Well, i know that God is with me and nothing against me shal prevail.

See ya!!!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Healthy Eater

Salad at Beef 'O' Brady's.
Yes, sir i got a salad at this so tempting restaurant. i like to eat a burger time to time. i love five guys. i normally eat salad and all this happens due to my change in culture when i came here.
i normally do not eat meat the comes from cow, and pork. i eat chicken / turkey mostly, fish when there is, and time to time horse meat. i have never liked cow meat; it is hard for me to swallow it. i remember those days when my mom used beef or others cuts from the cow and i have to eat them i was like a minute chewing each bite, and still my throat could not get open to swallow it. it was very painful i needed concentration; it was like my brain and throat had to do an agreement: "Now you can!! ups!! Time's up! wait for the next alienation of the planets" my throat said [thankfully there is no Pluto now, i miss it though]. Well that explain my hate for cow meat, also i do not like pork because it is pork!! it has a lot of fat.
Since i reach puberty, i always wanted to get lean, not muscular, but lean. Being able to show muscle without being all bulky. i am small so it will not look good if i get all bulky. i got a membership in a gym when i was on seventh grade, the plan was to do some exercise to get taller even though people said it did not work. i know it worked. i would be way smaller. But during this period i got lean but there was something missing! a six pack. Yes, that was the only thing i was missing!! well i went to high school and i lose all that i have obtained on my eight grade. i became slim. not fat but soft. skinny soft.
it was not until i came here and i was able to start going to the gym that i became to get lean again and i strive for my desired six pack; reading a lot of magazines about it, feeling frustrated when i was not able to go to the gym for a while, and i thought i lost all my progress. it was hard, seeing in others people body the body i wanted .lol. [now that i read it; it sounds so silly and immature]. i learned that i have to eat more food with fiber, and also more "lean meat," which i call bird meat-chicken and turkey. i started eating more vegetables and more chicken, less fat and butter; i did more cardio and all that suff.
i have been doing this for so long that it is a habit going to a place and look at the salad menu. Time to time i get something else to eat a burger from "Five Guys " [water is meltin'] well i have to say i get hungry sometimes, like every other five days. So i went to "Beef 'O' Brady's" and got my salad. i am all sweaty because i did P90X, and dang it! i make me work a lot, i need a shower but i will do a few crunches on my Swiss ball.

Now, i am the owner of a kinda-sort-of-like a six pack...

Time has passed, but nothing has changed.

Here i am again; a lot has happened that i can talk or in this case write. At most, i have read a few good books from which i need to make a reviews. Books books. My life has been the same, but i am learning to have a little more distance and be more independent in moments of solitude. It is hard now to be alone a not to think in a depresive way. i want to be a better person. i want to hang out with my friends but it is hard no to get independent; i chose to give opportunities, but not pushing them. if they want to take it they can if not. i will be no waiting i have waiting my whole life. Patience, i have, but i am tired of the things that people do; when they have questions or iquitudes, they should find them. They do not want to move, not my fault.
i thought the other day in one of my tweets:
There are options in life, you can complain and stay where you are or, you can find a change for your complainment. well that is, the receptionist is here i shall give place to her.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Straight Answer

We were playing bowling and pool, with my friends and one asked my a few questions, since he is actually my friend's brother and we soon live together, i never gave him a straight answer. He did not like it, but it did not bother him. He just found it funny.
i wonder sometimes when i come to ask God for a few answers; He does never answer straight. i realized that neither i like to give straight answer. i have to say i did not get this from Yoda. i have to confess i have never seen star wars. i know Yoda and Dark Vader because they are the main characters... [?]
Well coming back to the topic, there is three reason of why i think God does not want to give us straight answers: How badly do we really need or want the answer, Faith, and value.

Faith.
If God gives us the answer to everything we ask, were does faith fit in the world? what purpose would it have? There would be not much trust since the straight answer would change us the focus.

How bad do You want it.
Second part, if you want an answer so badly would you only ask for it once or more than once. it would push it to seek God more and more. We are humans we get what we need and then we walk away til we need more.
i created this blog because a friend told me to keep fighting for my dreams. i created and start fighting for my dream. He, then, asked me if i can give him my blog web address. i said no if he really wanted to know he would be able to find it [since i checked it on his computer, it was on the browser history]; a few days later, i give it to him. which bring us to my next point.

Value.
Third, there is no straight answer any more from me because if one really want to have something one would get it no matter what, and with no-straight answer he or she would fight even more.
If one gets things so easily, there will be no value for them. i mean in the way that that person has never put effort in something and think that everything in life should be easy. i had many relationships and i make them feel very bad,  broke their hearts, once, twice, three times. . . since it was easy for me to change from relationship to relationship i did not care much. i realized very late how bad i hurt them. Now, i want them to have their vengeance on me if they want it, i will not run from them.
Like David said "I will not take in offering to God something that did not cost me." well normally i would have put the bible verse, but did not find it. i might comment on another post.

Later!!!

Jokes, Bouncing Balls, and Pi (3)

Friends and i went to Zaxby's the other day. One thing i like of these restaurant or fast food places is the decoration. i enjoy it very much. So i decided to take some pictures of Zaxby's a traffic light.
Then in found this little dispenser machine just like the ones in the picture but round, and it has more round inside. Just, bouncing balls were inside. i remember the movie men in black II where the galaxy is in Orion's collar. This bouncing balls made me remember it. just because these little things look so familiar, and they are so cute. i used to put it on my mouth... .lol. i was silly, i meant sillier when i was a kid.

So i took two (2) pictures of it and decided to put them in here.



Then we went to eat, and a conversation about jokes and pi (3, i would put
3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164062862089986280348253421170679
  8214808651328230664709384460955058223172535940812848111745028410270193852110555964462294895493038196 
  4428810975665933446128475648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273 
  724587006606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146951941511609...
but i like to round to the closest whole number, so it's 3 for me) made it here. We talked about favorite jokes, and i went blank. i do not posses favorite jokes. i know a few, very few of them. i mostly enjoy chemistry jokes, math jokes, and above all stats jokes. i do not share about this with anybody. It just happened that i decides share it with the whole world just now. i remember the last one. .lol.

    There is the Easter Bonny, Santa Claus, and a Happy Woman. They jump from a building. Who land first? . . . No one, those three are not real.

Joke courtesy of a friend. there would be no name for anybody, and many of names for anonymous.

Drama

since i moved here, i have been in many dating sites. .lol. what a shame!!!! hahaha well i have learned a lot in there. Most people in those sites ask for a relationship with no drama. i agreed once i want a life with no drama, quiet, simple. i normally look for simple things in life that i can enjoy with the least drama possible. i also recognize that with no drama i shall not worry much. just waking up each day, go to work and head home, or church according to the day of the week. just chilling out in my life.
Boy! Girl! Wrong i was!!!!
If my life was with no drama, would really be a perfect life? not to worry about anything, just living, knowing that there is nothing to worry about. Now that i think of these it does sounds a little boring after a while.
i want drama in my life! i want to cry when things does not work, i want to be exited when things work. i want to be hungry on some days and i want to be satisfied others. i want to get hurt and heal, i want to be there when a friend needs it, i want a friend be there when i need it. i want life to hit me hard and i want it to treat me softly. i shall not trust in the monotonous of my life; i shall not trust in the security of my insurance [which is technically zero], neither in my studies.
WHY!?
Because if my life does not have hard moments i will not seek Him, if my life was plain each day and it would have no worries i would not try to get closer to Him. i want my life to get closer and closer each day and in each moment. i want my life to be drawn to Him. With tragedy i shall seek Him, with happy moments i shall be grateful to Him.
Adversity is the way God calls us when we have refused to listen with His soft words.
because i know there would be times in which i will not listen, i want adversity to be reminded that God has control and i depend on Him.

Eskeletor.

Sorry, i have not posted because i have not yet gotten a few stories to talk about it.
Here i am, back; the other day at work we were playing with the skeleton, Henrieta, and we make her pose for this picture. after that she was blushing! did not know that skeletons can blush, even skeletons made of plastic.
Well, i have to say Henrieta is very shy, she does not talk much. But with no vocal cords and lungs i think she should not be able to talk, counting that she is missing her brain too. But well, aren't all of them missing it?
Something that Henrieta does have is a sense of humor. He she was laughing at someone at work.
She is so funny. Okay, Henrieta i finally talk about you on my blog.
You're famous.
Way to go girl.

Disclaimer: i do not know who the heck that dude is; Henrieta knows him (she calls him sweetie). i know Henrieta is a plastic skeleton, and not a human starved to death and we keep the bones though that is what i thought the first time.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

King v/s Farmer

Gideon or king Leonidas. Which one would i like to be. I proud king who was defeated, or a farmer man following God's word?
Question is for whose glory one wants to live for?
It's hard to decide because the world tell us that we have to prove ourselves; we have to work hard and to show the world who the heck WE ARE.
But the thing is reality is different. i do not care who i am or what i have done. i care to whose glory i am living for. i chose to be the little farmer man and live hearing God's voice and be lead by Him.
One day king Leonidas will be forgotten, and Gideon's faithfulness will be remember, and  his name it is written in a book high in heaven.

Again, whose glory, mine or God's?

Father, is a future for me.

i worry too much about that stuff, i want to be a good one. It's like i miss them already and i have not have them yet.
Father's day is getting closer and closer. i was thinking of being a good father and it has always been in my head since i was in high school. i want to be not just a good father but a father like Him.
There is a song written in my own language that says something like this:
"God, i want to be like You because he wants to be like me."
 That song has really touched my heart. i want to be a good father to my little children. funny fact his i have no even found the mother of my children. i am so worry about being the best father i can be and be the father my Father wants me to be.
It is hard when most of your family history count being alone and living in a place where you share just the last name. i have seen the family in which i was born falling apart.
i do not want that to my little children. i want to love them, and to hug them, to teach them, love be there for them, i want to make them happy, and show the way of the Lord. i want to be like the last bible verse i put.
i miss them already, even though i have not yet get the chance of meeting them.


is it like the Lord felt when he was creating me?
Feeling like this, missing someone who yes has to live.
God give me the strength to be like You and the Spirit to lead me because my children might want to be like me.

Bible Verse 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

"Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
This is a so called Love chapter; most people think this is a romantic kind of love. They are wrong, half way, this is actually the day to day love. i read a challenge one day and it got my attention. i will explain the challenge later in this note.
i have read this chapter many times, the first part that with no love i am/have nothing. The other part that we are doing pretty much everything in part. One day i will know completely.

 It is a hard way to live sometimes when one know he or she is being love, but do not quite feel like it.
This is a powerful verse and the other thing is because God is love: God is Patient, God is kind, God is not arrogant, God rejoices with the truth.
i want to people to do not take this group of verse so light. i think it has been so over used that i has gotten over looked. Let us read it slow again.
The more i read it the more i get convinced that Love is something that will cure all. Thing is Love requires a high sacrifice. i am not doing a good resemblance of love because i lack most of these things.

Here is the challenge i got to do; i recommend readers to take it too.

Read it once more, but instead of reading the word LOVE, read your name into it.

Like this:

H Pee-Zee is patient, H Pee-Zee is kind and is not jealous; H Pee-Zee does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoice with the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hope all things, endures all things. 1 H Pee-Zee 13:4-7

yep! it will take a while, but i will aim at that goal.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Bible Verse Galatians 5:16

 "I say then: walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the just of the flesh." Galatians 5:16
This is a hard walk, and i have to fight it again my own temptations. i have to remember each morning to pry for holiness in my life, to make the right choice each moment, to say that i want to serve God, be like Jesus, and have communion with the Holy Spirit. i want to walk in the this all the day in all the days of my life.

It is hard; i was just a few minuted ago being temper by just lusting thoughts. i was like "wow, no! i gotta go somewhere. out of this sight." Now i am here back reading this verse and thinking to myself "what shall i do, how shall i proceed; my soul wants one thing and my body another."
They are two completely different and opposing things. One if for glory of the Lord when the other one if for human glory if at all you can call it glory.
i am too small to have glory, to dim in the huge existence of the universe.
My flesh has to be tamed, and i find it hard.

i pray for each morning to be a morning in which i can praise Him. i want to walk i am no longer a slave of sin, but still temptation will arise always. i am free and with the power of God i am able to defeat temptation. i can run and run toward the hands of God or i can run toward temptation hitting into sin.

Walk is a verb, and as a verb it means action. This one specifically is a constant action. When people walk with someone they normally walk next to each other, one does not walk before the other or behind the other. what is the purpose of walking like that. i understand if one is leading the way, but even with that those two can walk together and communicate to know where to go.

Walk with the Spirit that one will have Him next to us. Not too far behind that we loose track if Him, not too far ahead that we won't see where He is going or what is he doing.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Life, Gain, and Lost

Life can give to a human a lot of problems, a lot of happiness and also things to think about and feelings. What has life brought you? For me, i can say that life is unique and not fair but still very enjoyable. i have lost and gained so much that it would be a long post to put it in here. There was a big smile when Erwin was alive, there was a lot of tragedy and sadness after his death His presence.
i love God, and i thanks Him for the good stuff that life brought me, i thanks Him for His infinite wisdom and ability to teach me from the consequences of my own faults.
Like Job said once [i am paraphrasing] "would only expect good from God?"
i am not saying that is God who sent me the bad stuff, but since He is a just God the consequences of my disobedience will come to me eventually.
i have lost so many things, so many people, and so many good opportunities for my own stupidity.
i have gain so many good friends, a good family, experience when i did the good choices.
Here i am writing about the stuff i like, not my own life, experience that i have collected from me and from others.
Life comes with highs and lows. we make it harder than it really needs to be, and still we as humans want to complicate it even more. What do we do after it? Blame the one who is supposed to be blameless. Yes, we blame it on God.
i do not like to blame it on other people. i try to make myself guilty, but i recognize and from a word of my mom "in a relationship of two, both part has the same guilt for the break of the relationship." Paraphrasing since she said it on our own language. Translation is not as easy as it looks.
i recognize that sometimes i brought my own disgrace and my own "bad luck" [do not believe in luck, just coincidence].
Life ain't as bad as it looks, but it also ain't a pretty color.
Life has the color of reality which is sort of bittersweet, everything has a price.
i need to remember of the simple things in life the ones that really bring meaning to life.
Above all not living a life for me but for Someone Else.

Living He Loved Me ~ Casting Crowns (Glorious Days)


One day when Heaven was filled with His praises
One day when sin was as black as could be
Jesus came forth to be born of a virgin
Dwelt among men, my example is He
Word became flesh and the light shined among us
His glory revealed

Living He loved me!
Dying He saved me!
Buried He carried my sins far away!
Rising He justified!
Freely forever!
One day He’s coming!
Oh glorious day!
Oh glorious day

One day they led Him up Calvary’s mountain
One day they nailed Him to die on a tree
Suffering anguish, despised and rejected
Bearing our sins, my Redeemer is He
Hands that healed nations, stretched out on a tree
He took the nails for me!

Living He loved me!
Dying He saved me!
Buried He carried my sins far away!
Rising He justified!
Freely forever!
One day He’s coming!
Oh glorious day!
Oh glorious day!
One day the grave could conceal Him no longer
One day the stone rolled away from the door
Then He arose, over death He had conquered
Now is ascended, my Lord evermore
Death could not hold Him, the grave could not keep Him
From rising again

Living He loved me!
Dying He saved me!
Buried He carried my sins far away!
Rising He justified!
Freely forever!
One day He’s coming!
Oh glorious day!
Oh glorious day!
Glorious day!

One day the trumpet will sound for His coming
One day the skies with His glories will shine
Wonderful day, my Beloved One bringing
My Savior Jesus is mine

Living He loved me!
Dying He saved me!
Buried He carried my sins far away!
Rising He justified!
Freely forever!
One day He’s coming!
Oh glorious day!
Oh glorious day!
Glorious day!
Oh glorious day
This song was sung yesterday at my church and i really like it. Each time i heard it, my feet start dancing and my whole body wants to move.
The part that says Living He Loved me. Every single time and in every moment He was loving me, i was on His mind.
It is a blowing up song and i love it; i would post more about it but i want you to decide it.
and also i am at work.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

It's a Family Thing

It is hard for me to recognize my family, sometimes. i love them, but i am not the type of spending much time with them. yes it is a sad story. i have to say my family has been hit hard, very hard and every one of us have hidden in our own little world. we did not planned it; it just happened. it was hard and from that moment each one of us grow independently. it does affect us though, one might be looking for the guilt one, another might be laying on bed and not caring at all, one has not even realized about it, and i lie in the place to do not know what to do, look for change or just keep everything like that.
i want, now, to have a fair good relationship within my family. i know it is going to be hard. very hard, not impossible.
There must be something everyone of us has to do in order to change that.
There must be another option.
It is not late, there is still time.
We need to keep fighting. One day i will have my own family and i will fight for its unity, easiness, love, and strength.
i will not five up in this fight, i hope all of us will one day fight and realize how each one of us is fighting to reach this goal.

A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket.

i have only three books from the whole series, but i have read it all. true. i love it [tell me about a book i do not love, Self-Help]. It says in the title a series of UNFORTUNATE events. So the author is preparing you for a non happy ending. Lemony Snicket will tell the story of the little orphans. The Baudelaire.
The whole series is written in past. The author Lemony Snicket write the story as a recall of what happened to these little children.
Main Characters:

Violet Baudelaire: She is the oldest sister and the inventor.
Klauss Baudelaire: The middle brother and book worm.
Sussy Baudelaire: The youngest sister, chewing then cooking.
Count Olaf: The bad, bad, bad guy.

This is all you need to know about the Characters.

Since it is a series here is the title of every single book til the end of the series. Beware there is also additional context from which i do not know much or posses.

  1. The Bad Beginning.
  2. The Reptile Room.
  3. The Wide Window.
  4. Miserable Mill.
  5. The Austere Academy.
  6. The Ersatz elevator.
  7. The Ville Village.
  8. The Hostile Hospital.
  9. The Carnivorous Carnival.
  10. The Slippery Slope.
  11. The Grim Grotto.
  12. The Penultimate Peril.
  13. The End.
As i wrote, it is a sad story, but to be true its end has a beautiful point in hope. i recommend this series because it is a different literature where to win the Baudelaire have to sacrifice a lot.

The Measure of a Man by Gene A. Getz

This is another Christian book i have read. My church gave us [to the single men]. i star reading it and i force my self to finish because i normally start and do not finish much of the Christian books i start. This one did not required much of me to push myself. i really liked and was able to comment with other of my firends who were also reading it,
Talking about the qualities of a man, and woman also can be addressed, that are described in the book of Titus and also the books of Timothy.
The Measure of a Man showed me how far from the Mature Christian Man i am. i had only one thing left, keep pushing myself to go, to live like Christ.
Here is a list of the qualities it addresses:
  1. Overall Spiritual Maturity (well rounded man) [it does not mean fat].
  2. Above Reproach (a man of good repute)
  3. The Husband of One Wife (morally Pure) [i skip this one, the title did not catch my attention; i am single; j/k]
  4. Temperate (balanced in words and actions)
  5. Prudent (wise and humble)
  6. Respectable (good role model)
  7. Hospitable (unselfish and generous)
  8. Able to Teach (communicate sensitively in a non-threatening and non-defensive manner) [i thought coercion was the talking!]
  9. Not Addicted to Wine (not addicted to substance) [i love wine]
  10. Not Self-Willed (not self-centered and controlling) [ about controlling. . .]
  11. Not Quick-Tempered (void of anger that become sinful) [yes, angry aha]
  12. Not Pugnacious (not abusive)
  13. Gentle (sensitive, loving, and kind)
  14. Peaceable (non argumentative and non divisive)
  15. Free From the Love of Money (non materialistic) [~$. . .]
  16. Manage His own Household Well (a good husband and a father)
  17. Loving what is good. (pursues godly activities)
  18. Just (wise, discerning, non prejudiced, and fair)
  19. Devout (holy, devoted to God)
  20. Self Controlled (disciplined)
So these are the twenty characteristics of a man of God.
Strong characteristics, that not only the people from church has to see from one every Sunday Morning. Theses characteristics have to be with us at all the times, inside church, outside church, in the house, and also everywhere. To make myself clear.

Chick-Fil-A on F.I.R.E.

Last Wednesday i stepped in a Chick-Fil-A. It has been a long time i have since my last time. Silly, it is one of my favorite place to eat but i don't go there often. It might be that i normally hang around places where there is not Chick-Fil-A.
i asked for a salad, the southwestern.
The did not have it .... i was like buuuuu, and it always happen when there is not what i want. i do a jigglypuff face. So i had to change for another thing. i got another salad. hahahha.
Well the point in this entry is to share the little thing i found in this table.
A paper extinguisher. It was the advertisement for the new spicy chicken sandwichn and other . i will have it the next time i go there.
Like five or four more years....

Silly Drinking Dog

My friends and i went to graduation party, one of ours friends' brother got graduated from High School.
we went and greet to whole family. There was this little silly female dog. It was cute for be a small dog. i have to clarify that small dogs and i do not mix up much, but well there is also exception to all rules. They were putting music by their X-Box 360. Paying attention to the music and TV singing aloud and we saw the dog drinking from one of their cups. Here is the picture.

Ain't it cute? Well gladly the cup had "H2O," water for the one who did not took chemistry. . . or fail it.
After listening to music we play Dance Central.
One of my favorite games in the X-Box 360, i want it badly but my wallet is smarter than i and tell me to do it way later when the prices go down.
i will need a flat screen too.
So there is a Christmas gift someone can give me.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Forgotten God by Francis Chan

There are not a lot of Christian books i have read. Reason is because they normally get too technical or just too simple. i got this one as a graduation gift from a friend when i got my AA.
It took me a lot to get and read it.
i did and finished just this past Monday.
Forgotten God is a book that rocked my foundations about the Holy Spirit; it helped me to realize that He is more real and more essential to my life as a Christian. i cannot be a good Christian or even live like one if it wasn't for Him. Based in the book of Acts and some verses from Galatians, and other from the New and old Testament, Forgotten God is not a deep theological book, but it posses the basic knowledge that sometimes we over read about Him. i, now, recognize Him in everything He does. i still try to obey Him and not offend Him with my sins. it challenge my relationship with Him, the Holy Spirit. Recognize He is within me. i am with God always not because He is omnipresent but because He is within me.
i recommend this book with a ten out of five stars.

Bible Verse Galatians 5:22-23

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires." Galatians 5:22-23
i was reading this book of which i wan to make a review, but i have not had enough time. When i do have it i do not posses the pic of the cover i took. .lol.
Here we see the fruit of the Spirit basic caracteristics that show love towards other and love to ourselve in a healthy way.
It also says that the ones who are of Christ have crucified the flesh. Each day that i woke up i try to put down the desires of my flesh. all that garbish from my past life i throw them out...
The other thing is that if it is read carefully one might notice that the Bible says "THE FRUIT" it is only one fruit. As it is by one fruit we will achieve all of these. Having the Spirit of the Lord in me encourage me to develop all this characteristics and be one who can be describe in these verses.
i am gonna tell ya! this stuff is hard! when people make you angry, hurt you, loneliness come and surround you, no one listen to you, people look down on you, you think they only feel pity on you.
Again i have to be remembered:
"Even if my father and mother abandon me,
      the Lord will hold me close." Psalm 27:10
This is the only motivation and because God loved me first and still loves me. i choose each day to crucify my flesh and its desires, rise up, worship Him and show up the fruit of the Spirit.

[What] v/s {Who}

This post is related to something i have been exposed lately. i have been exposed to graduation, and i realized that a lot of people care of what they do and have done. i care of who they are, who as a person. i do not care what they have done. They could have achieved the mount Everest, found the cure for cancer and aids, run the longest marathon, memorize every word on the dictionary. i have to say it requires a lot of discipline to achieve those things, but everyone can discipline themselves.
i try to get to know them first, then to see how "good" they are. i am nobody to say who is good or who is bad.
i can barely say that some people support more to society as for who they are than for what they can do.
when people see you, why do they recognize you, for who you are or for what you have done?

Hard, isn't it?
Because who you are influence what you do and people remember what you have done easily.
Live a life that will make them remember who you are then what you have done based in who you are.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

One Way Road, Two Way Road?

Friendship is a word i consider sometimes over use. There is a lot of people i introduce or call friend, but they are just acquaintances. i normally call someone friend if i think that person consider me as a friend and i do not want to hurt them. i recognize i have not been honest to them.
i also categorize my friends and i do not like to mix them much. Church friend, Classmate friends, Work friends, Outside-these-three-groups friends, Chilean friends, and etc friends.
i wanted to write this not mostly to remember myself of the word i once have with me. Yes, i talk to me a lot.; probably if i am not talking to somebody i am talking to me.
Friendship i do consider it a one way road. Reason is because a lot of people tell me that i need to call people friend those who behave well to me. i actually disagree with that thought. i had many friendships and some are weak now, some are getting stronger, some are distant and other are just cold and straight to the point. From some friendships i do learn on other cases i teach in the friendships. It all depends on the situation.
i chose one day to behave as a friend to those who i consider friend, even though; people might not consider me a friend. i am the one who choose to call you friend therefore i am the one who has to behave like a friend. i will never behave as a friend from the moment you choose to call me your friend.
You might think that i am wrong in this thought because if i do not consider you my friend i would be have unfriendly?
Well, not. Because, since the moment we cross a few words i have already chose to call you my friend. It might be a friendship that is going to fast, but i never ask for a friendship to be a two ways road. i have chosen this option because i was call to love, other people as i love myself. i have been called to do good as i can do with all myself. i was taught to go the extra kilometer. i was taught to smile and offer a hand even though i know it will be refused. i was call to be there for whomever needed because there was someone who did this to me first. This comes out of my heart because i saw it from somebody.
He was there every time i need Him; He offered His hands many time and for many times i refuse them. He was always good protected my even though i did not choose to go with Him. i went to places i did not like He was there to be with me.
i learned it from Him.

Mist in the Morning

There is a construction road close by my house; it is one of the roads i use. i have to take a detour and it bring me close to this lake, and one day there was mist above the lake. i got fascinated by it and shoot my cellphone. i was already stop since there was red light and i was several cars behind the light.
Here is the beautiful picture i choose to take.

i like the fact that one can barely see the other side of the bank. i enjoy the mist because it is a really cool place to hide and little by little being found. Also i like the thought of the mist and the Holy Spirit when in Genesis 1:2 talks about Him. Moving above the water. i thought it would look like there was mist above the water and the Spirit would walk, run, dance above it with a enormous quietness.
it is for me a very peaceful thought i use to calm myself when i feel alone.
Funny thing, when one walks into the mist or is already there. One can see nothing; one can see a few light down the road but it is still hard. it would be very depressing to feel alone in the mist since one gets wet and see not much. Even the sound changes when one is inside of it.
Hope you can appreciate it and enjoy the mist every time you see it and/or pass by it.

The Country Best Yougurt

So with my friends and i, we went to TCBY, and i got a ice cream with weird stuff in it. The ice cream you see right here on top of my writing is. My friend's ice cream. She got the one with multiple colors and as soon as i put my sight on it i said "it looks like play-doh" [even though i said play doll, they did not catch my mistake]
i take out my phone and took a picture of it! i did really like it. The Picture.
The ice cream tasted like. . . mmmmm. . . vanilla or something along the lines but very dull.
i did enjoy my passing by this place since it was my third or second time. Third i think.
this is the story of this little picture.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Completely whole.

Things feel different, but i am glad that i feel a new strength coming within me. Weirdly, it is not mine. It comes from the Holy Spirit. Glad that You live here. The Holy Spirit came after Jesus when He ascended.
i have always wanted to have Jesus next to me. i knew i have the Holy Spirit next to me. Thing is, i never thought that having the Holy Spirit within me was even better than to have Jesus next to me.
It is written and Jesus said it Himself. "It is for your own Good."
i had ignored to Holy Spirit for so long, and so full of confusions, but now i am learning to listen to Him, let Him guide me day by day, having constant communion with Him. It is hard to live a life that is willing to obey Him with all the distraction that are here.
i also feel sort of ashamed that i keep finding excuses; i have the bible, the resurection of Jesus and the Counsel of the Holy Spirit. With all this, i still find it hard to live a life that pleases God?
Let see, Noah, Joseph, Moses, Methuselah or his father Enoch. They all did no t have the Bible, the Law, the death and resurection of Jesus, neither the Holy Spirit as we have acces to all of these.
They walked before God, and God's prescence was with them.
i really feel bad when i see that i just keep finding excuses to do and to not do.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Fountain of many wishes

This Beautiful fountain is located in the city of Concepcion. i took the picture for a photo contests. Funny Thing i submit them, but they never showed up to be voted for. it was sad. i save the picture and keep it on my cellphone to remember home, and the places i liked to walk when i wanted to think, pray, and just chill out. i wonder how is that little fountain doing, after the earthquake many things of my country fell down and got destroyed. i hope this fountain is still up. memories of this fountain bring me hope.
How many friends i meet in there? when i sat at the edge and see the gypsy's kids swimming and playing in it on summer.
how many people stood next to it to just spend time, the couples passed by hugging each other. mothers with their babies. The typical gentleman with the little hand made horse for the kid to take picture with.
Do not forget the many pigeons that flying around it, from one side to the other when someone threw some food, or just pop corns.
how many times i waited there for friends that did not showed up, but to see the faces of people, living their life with energy, happiness, and stress.
Common faces; faces that showed reality. Student with all their styles from EmO's to gothic, the punk, hardcore, "mateo," and normal. Friendship, love water and birds.
There is also a common character that we need to remember in there, and without him it might be quiet now, and not the same thing. The preacher. Always talking about Heaven and Hell, giving his voice to call people to repentance, giving always the voice of his faith.
how many times i judge him for scaring people, for not showing the God that i believe, God of love and compassion, God of mercy...
At least, that preacher was spreading the gospel. The Gospel of the God i love, in the city i also Love.
i wish one day i can do the same not only for that city i love, but for the people i care about.

Dear Deer Experience

Hello Again!!
To tell you the truth i have never seen a deer til yesterday when i saw three in total.
i said to me friend "i have never seen so mane deer in one day."
she laugh a lot, and she was driving.
they were so small and cute... i wanted to hug them.
but they got scare away and i was not able to take a picture...
that was so sad...
i also remembered the movie where a deer runs towards the car. i do not know the name of the movie, or it could be a commercial so i do not know really what it was...
This is the post about deer, and my life changing experience...

Five Guys

i went to five guys with a friend. He did not know i am a chicken guy; i decided to go with them anyways. i look for a chicken menu and found nothing. i looked, and ask my  friend is there any chicken in here. He answered "no" and i was little disappointed for the fact i normally try to eat healthy.
i looked over the menu  once more and saw the  cheese burger. i asked for it. The cashier looked back at me and said what topics...
i went blank. i should have been used to the fact that there is always some sides or topic i can have for something.
So i answered back "what do you have?"
She pointed and i looked there were only two topics i liked.
"Lettuce and Tomato; and that's it." -- "Cup of water, please." -- "Thank you."
i sat with my friend and i wait for my order.
i got called and went to pick it up. i tasted it and i found love.
Since then, i normally go there, since my friend lives close to it, and normally we are hungry after 2.
i went there and last time i took a picture of my burger... it looked so cute...
it is the cutest burger ever if you got a Five Guys close yo your home or in your city, or withing 50 miles you should definitely do it, get into your car or a friends car or take one, call the cabs 911, or something just to get there.
you can always go there jogging, you will need some exercise to burn those calories, and make some hunger...
BTW i found the recipe for this deliciousness:
Ground beef...
that is ground beef.
it says also human sweat, but i think it might refer to hard work, human hard work.

Spider in a car

With my friend, we were helping out church and we went out to take a break; we sat one a truck and saw this weird spider.
i decided to take a picture because i have never seen a green spider before, just spiders that are black or brown, and dark colors but never so green!!
hope you enjoy my finding...

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Beach Day

So, yesterday i was bored and did not have planes for today. i sent a few messages to two of my friend of which one responded almost immediately the other one did not respond until three a.m. in the morning.
My friend invited me to the beach, so i went with her. She was leaving at six a.m. So i have to leave the house at like five fifteen a.m.
i did it, thanks to my friend who answered me early that night (? day may be).
i was on my way and she text-ed me saying that there might be some rain. i went a little down, but she said she was still going. i was happy. We made it there at eight thirty a.m. the other thirty minutes spent at a McDonald's that did not posses power. Its power shut down as soon as my friend started ordering at the drive through.
Funny thing, and sad, the cashier was using a calculator and was not able to get the tax in the payment. how much technology can dumb us.
Wah!! i am using technology to write this thing... how sad. i try it not to dumb me down.
Once in the beach we just swim and play inside water volley ball; yes we play hardcore water games.
i was already tan so i decided not to wear sunscreen because i am Latino.
Well, i got red ahahah very red, but still a cool Latino red.
By four, she realized there was going to be a thunders storm, rain, and all that can be on a sunny day at the beach. we headed back, other friends stayed a little too long (days).









On our way back home, the thunderstorm attacked us. The clouds looked so pretty that here i put some more pics of that thunderstorm.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Bible Verse Joshua 3:1 & 6:12 & 8:10

"Then Joshua rose early in the morning; and they set out from Acacia Grove and came to the Jordan, he and all the children of Israel, and lodged there before they crossed over" Joshua 3:1
"And Joshua rose early in the morning, and the priests took up the ark of the LORD." Joshua  6:12
"Then Joshua rose up early in the morning and mustered the people, and went up, he and the elders of Israel, before the people to Ai." Joshua 8:10
i was driving today to work, and at the stop light, there was a lady who handle me a paper. She was protesting against a cell phone tower that was going to be erected close to our neighborhood. i am moving soon, hopefully, so i did not pay much attention about the tower. There was something that indeed called my attention. i normally consider myself as a morning person. i like o wake up in the morning and have pretty much all i have to do done by eleven am, or twelve the latest, but usually take my time so it ends close to one if i have a lot to do. Coming back to the topic, this lady was there at 6:45 the time i cross the intersection. i was amused at how she was doing this very early just for a cause that motivated her to do it, a simple cell phone tower. Point is, how many time do we wake up early for the cause of the Lord?
How many of us say that we love the Lord, but we don't even dedicate a morning moment to Him?
When was the last time i woke up early just to read my Bible and to praise Him? i mean praise Him as in give thanks because sometimes we as human rose early in the morning just to ask, like this lady ask for support, and people to fight against the building of the tower.
How little we praise God, for all He has done to us...
Once my Aunt told me, we were talking about people who judge, she said : The only Person who can really judge us, treat us like kings/queens.
God love us so much that HE SENT HIS SON for US, can we at least give HIM a little of our morning?

If You Find Yourself Caught in Love- Belle & Sebastian [Dear Catastrophe Waitress]

If you find yourself caught in love
Say a prayer to the man above
Thank him for everything you know
You should thank him for every breath you blow
If you find yourself caught in love
Say a prayer to the man above
Thank him for every day you pass
You should Thank him for saving your sorry ass
If you’re single, but looking out
You must raise your prayer to a shout
Another partner must be found
Someone to take your life beyond
Another TV “I Love 1999”
Just one more box of cheapo wine
If you find yourself caught in love
say a prayer to the man above
But If you don’t listen to the voices then my friend
You’ll soon run out of choices
What a pity it would be
You talk of freedom don’t you see
The only freedom that you’ll ever really know
Is written in books from long ago
Give up your will to Him that loves you
Things will change, I’m not saying overnight
You’ve gotta start somewhere
Start by kidding on you care
If you find yourself out of love
Shed a tear for the one you love
Tell your boss that you’ve gone away
Down your tools for a holiday
But If you’re going off to war then I wish you well
But don’t be sore
If I cheer the other team
Killing people’s not my scene
I prefer to give the inhabitants a say
Before you blow their town away
I like to watch them play
I like to marvel at the random beauty of a simple village girl
Why should she be the one who’s killed?

If you find yourself caught in love...
Since my las post was about relationships; i desired to post this song about being in love. Well, if you know someone who is in love here is a very lovely sarcastic song of love.
i like the rhytm and the lyrics.
Thank him for everything you know
You should thank him for every breath you blow

This is one of my favorites part of the song; i have to be thanks full for what i have and for what i not.

So nothing else to say more than letting you enjoy the song...


Thursday, June 2, 2011

Relationships

I want to have a relationship but i will not have it till i am mature completely. Dang, It's hard.
It is hard to have a relationship; one has to have a lot of committment; responsibilities, and free time to spend with the special one. i have a few relationships and in all of them i ended hurting people than just being hurt. i hurt myself instead of being hurt by someone else. i blame it on them but i know it was not their fault. Even with some friendships i ended hurting and ending frienships. Know, i look at their life and wonder how would they be if at the first place i did not hurt them.
i have always wanted to go back and not hurt people, but guess what... Time only moves forward and it moves fast. Once a word is say; it stay said for ever. Once a moment pass; there is not way back.
i want to not do the stupid mistakes i have done.
It looks like that will take a while. A long while; but i will keep figthing because there is a  Great Someone who Strength me every single Day.

Bible Verse, Galatians 4:9

"But now after you have known God, or rather are known by God, how is it that you turn again to the weak and beggarly elements, to which you desire again to be in bondage?" Galatians 4:9
i was reading a the same book from where i got the last Bible verse. i got this new quote and made me think about the first sentence second part: ARE KNOWN BY GOD. This is a small phrase. i know God does know everything. i know God knows even the future and mistakes i will make before i made them. i was thinking that in this passages how many times i have overlooked. i want God to know me; to know who i am. i want to have a really deep relationship with God. i want God to look at me and tell me i know you; you're my son. i like that part. i like it so much. Think of this; God in sited on His throne; lean forward and tell to one of the angels. "See that human over there; he is my son and i know him. i love him."
Powerful; yes i want God to know me; more and more. i want to know Him more and more. Each day.
I think that sometimes we just conform ourselves to know little about God. Just enough that we might be saved. But remember. God one day can say to you:
" And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’" Mathew 7:23
This is where it gets pretty harsh. God is a God who sees all, knows all, created all. He created us, sees our ways, and knows our hearts. He will not be foolish. i have to say i am very freaked out if on that day God say this. i also have to say that if God tell me this. He knows what He is doing. i desire to live a life of loving Him more and more, than a life motivated by this fear of not being known. One of my friends says one day about a song
"Jesus to Know You more is to Love You more"
i do not know who sing the song, and as usual don't care. This lyric is very true. i want to know more of God, but also i want God to know more of me. Like the Moon as in its crescent phase. we can see more and more of its face. i want God to each day know me more and more till, like the moon, i am completely full known by Him. Known by Him due to our relationship, not for His omniscience.