Monday, September 5, 2011

I Am Not Who I Was ~ Brandon Heath ()

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was

I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so

I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was

When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you

I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was

I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name

Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was

 I am using this song to say what is in my heart to those i hurt i ask for forgiveness, to those who hurt me directely or indirectely i forgive them. i am not the little guy who hold grudges and seek revenge any more. i am not the little boy who run scared from the problems, i am not the one who will shut his mouht when something happends and gets angry, i will not use my mouth to yell any more, or use my fits to strike and knock other people.
To those people who i meet, loved and grew with, i use this song to let them know that i not just loved them but i still love them as in present now. Wherever they are. Whatever they are doing. They have a space in my heart, and once i got your name in my heart three things only can erase it: Dead, Alzheimer, and Amensia. Which i hope only the first one will do the trick.
i have learned, but not completely,  Agape: the self-sacrifing love, as the love of God/Jesus/Holy Spirit for the church; Philia/o: the brotherly and sisterly love for one another; Storge: the love that comes as familiarity, that part when you miss a friends, becuase he is like family or his presence is so strong that when he is not there you miss him; that is how you know that love; Eros: the love for intimacy and romantic love. i wrote i have learned but still not completely i am human and my desire to grow is hard but by the love of God i can keep doing it, with His Agape love i can stand in my feet each day, with my Philo love i walk to wards my friends and brothers, sisters, by Storge i take care of them and wanted to be happy... ahhh about Eros... well i am still single... ahahahahahaha
well here is the song link:

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