Bible Verse Philipians 1:23

"I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better." Philippians1:23.

This is a very strong quote from the Bible. i liked because it tells how much love is there for be with Christ. i wish one day i could say this verse and mean it as it is written. i was reading it from a book a friend gave me, and this verse make me stop, look it in the Bible and posted it in here. i wonder how is my relationship with God [God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit]. It is my desire that i want more of God to honor me. So far i looked at myself and wondered, as the book says, WHY?
Why do i serve God?
Why do i seek Him?
Why do i go to church?
Why do i pray each day?
Why do i read the Bible?
i meant those questions as a reason or motive behind, or deep in my heart.  Do i do those things to see miracles, do i do those things to look spiritual? What is the real reason i do those things?
i realized that for so many years i have been doing some of those just for the fact that i was told to do, i was told to go to church, serve God.
Now i want to do those things:

1. Because He is God and to Him all the Glory.
2. Because it comes within me to love Him.
3. It is the reason i was created, for both one and two.

It is hard to be walking in the Spirit. i want the Spirit of God lead me, instead of me leading Him. It is hard, but if it wasn't hard we would not appreciate what we have. Also, we will have to fight constantly with our flesh. Here is a point hard for me. i consider myself weak. i will keep fighting and one day i know i will have a crown off victory.

"If I keep doing it; eventually I will get results." Someone on the Radio.

So what else is there to say. Well, what can you, and i, do and for what reason are we doing it?
Will we get to say, i want to die just to be with Christ?